did I love Her,
or was I only so alone
that I hooked my heart
on whatever welcoming fishing line would bait me?

did I love Her,
or did I feel her loving me
like no one had done
before during the confusion of my teenage years?

did I love Her,
or did I only want
to be just like her:
be as funny and as kind and as smart as she was?

did I love Her,
or was my mind lost
in an inner storm:
in the grey shadows of a changing body and soul?

I think I loved Her—
but I do not know.
It does not matter, though,
for she did not love me so.

Brinn W.